New Moon New Me (sort of)

My latest bold declaration is that I’m never going to make another bold declaration ever again. I’m tired of bullshitiing myself. Tired of a lot of things really. But this is me. Here I am. Accepting myself, fully. Hurray!

Part and parcel of this package (me) is that I am an everchanging (hopefully) ever evolving being. Accepting myself means accepting the fact that I have a desire to expand and grow, and that I will inevitably change in spite of my best or worst efforts.

Psychologist, Carl Rogers, thought that we all have a tendency toward self actualisation. We can’t help it. It’s in our nature! We get to this much vaunted territory when our actions (or our self image) is congruent with what we perceive to be our “ideal self”. I suppose though that not living up to your ideals could be grounds for some serious self-condemnation. It’s a slippery slope. Nonetheless, unless you’re completely broken and/or have completely given up on life, a place I’ve flirted with recently, then a tiny ember or maybe even blazing inferno will remain within. I want to be my best self. The fire’s still burning.

Unfortunately, I haven’t always lived in accord with this part of my personality due to factors that I will detail in a future post. You can only ignore your true self for so long however (hopefully you’ll start to listen before you die, but there are no gaurantees). Thankfully–whilst still alive–“It’s never too late to become who you really are.”

Life is full of contradictions. Example: In summation I pretty much just said that I want to change by staying the same. Which doesn’t make any sense (“insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results”. Sorry I can’t resist spouting these kinds of trite aphorisms, something that probably wont change anytime soon😉). It’s all a delicate balance. If I were to take a more aggressive approach I could make a bold declaration of war against myself or at least the parts of me that I want to change, which would be a violation of my opening statement. Not only that, but how much progress can you hope to make by being at odds with yourself? This is one of those Taoist things: you proceed by not trying (too hard), by letting go.

It’s an integration thing rather than an outright rejection. It’s Hegel’s dialectic: thesis, antithesis and synthesis. The disparate elements combine into something new, like alchemy. It’s also an “effortless effort” kind of thing. I’ve never played baseball but apparently hitting a home run feels like this (i.e. an effortless effort) You’re not forcing the action. You tune in to the moment and swing skillfully. If your timing is right, it’ll feel like you barely touched the ball, but it’ll go soaring into the stands.

And that’s the adventure my friends… a dramatic transformation with a deft touch, a gentle nudge, nothing too drastic, just enlightenment 😎So let us begin anew by being ourselves.